Five years ago I was living a completely different life from the life I live today. Time is a beautiful thing. It gives us an opportunity to grow and change. I have changed!
My life before:
- I was 21 years old.
- I resided in Hollywood with my boyfriend (who was much older).
- I had my own TV Show.
- I was a model.
- I wanted and kept seeking extravagant things.
- How I looked had to be perfect. It became a 24/7 job.
- I wore heels and fitted clothing.
- I was constantly taking selfies.
- I was focused on positivity and the law of attraction.
- I was self-centered.
- I was controlling.
- I was insecure.
- Achieving goals was important.
- Making money was a priority.
- I started to drink alcohol to help me cope with my emotions.
- I struggled with depression and anxiety.
- I visited a psychologist once a week.
I realized…
- I didn’t have any close friends.
- I didn’t know how to ask for help.
- I didn’t know I could ask for help.
- I didn’t know much about God.
- I didn’t know much about the Bible.
- I wanted to grow and improve.
- I was afraid to take steps of faith.
Today:
- I am 26 years old.
- I love Jesus.
- I am bold and filled with faith.
- I am married.
- I love adventures.
- Simple things make me happy.
- I like dressing comfortable.
- I am not focused on my appearance.
- I am less controlling.
- I am confident.
- I love to read my bible and faith books.
- I have close friends.
- I love praying for others.
- I love to encourage others.
- I laugh a lot.
- I am always smiling.
- Life is precious to me.
- I have peace in my heart.
It is interesting to reflect on who I used to be compared to who I am today. Would we get along? Maybe. I would have been focused on what I have to do. God didn’t fit in with the life I was living. I would tell the old me, “You are beautiful on the outside and love how I dressed.” In reverse, the old me would think the new me is nice, but nothing more.
Writing about my past and present helps me visualize how far I have come in life and my walk with Jesus. Now when I meet people who are not like me, I still want to connect and guide them to get to know Jesus. However, writing this helps me to be more sensitive for those who are not ready to walk with Jesus and realize that not all people are where I am in life. I am learning to respect our differences and continue to pray for them.
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
Reflection Question:
- Looking back would you get along with your old self?
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