Would You and Your Past Self Get Along?

Five years ago I was living a completely different life from the life I live today. Time is a beautiful thing. It gives us an opportunity to grow and change. I have changed!

My life before:

  • I was 21 years old.
  • I resided in Hollywood with my boyfriend (who was much older).
  • I had my own TV Show.
  • I was a model.
  • I wanted and kept seeking extravagant things. 
  • How I looked had to be perfect. It became a 24/7 job.
  • I wore heels and fitted clothing.
  • I was constantly taking selfies. 
  • I was focused on positivity and the law of attraction. 
  • I was self-centered.
  • I was controlling. 
  • I was insecure.
  • Achieving goals was important.
  • Making money was a priority. 
  • I started to drink alcohol to help me cope with my emotions. 
  • I struggled with depression and anxiety.
  • I visited a psychologist once a week. 

I realized… 

  • I didn’t have any close friends. 
  • I didn’t know how to ask for help. 
  • I didn’t know I could ask for help. 
  • I didn’t know much about God. 
  • I didn’t know much about the Bible. 
  • I wanted to grow and improve. 
  • I was afraid to take steps of faith. 

Today:

  • I am 26 years old.
  • I love Jesus.
  • I am bold and filled with faith.
  • I am married.
  • I love adventures. 
  • Simple things make me happy. 
  • I like dressing comfortable.
  • I am not focused on my appearance. 
  • I am less controlling. 
  • I am confident. 
  • I love to read my bible and faith books.
  • I have close friends. 
  • I love praying for others. 
  • I love to encourage others.
  • I laugh a lot. 
  • I am always smiling. 
  • Life is precious to me.
  • I have peace in my heart.

It is interesting to reflect on who I used to be compared to who I am today. Would we get along? Maybe. I would have been focused on what I have to do. God didn’t fit in with the life I was living. I would tell the old me, “You are beautiful on the outside and love how I dressed.” In reverse, the old me would think the new me is nice, but nothing more. 

Writing about my past and present helps me visualize how far I have come in life and my walk with Jesus. Now when I meet people who are not like me, I still want to connect and guide them to get to know Jesus. However, writing this helps me to be more sensitive for those who are not ready to walk with Jesus and realize that not all people are where I am in life. I am learning to respect our differences and continue to pray for them.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

Reflection Question:

  • Looking back would you get along with your old self? 

Put your House in Order 

A few months ago, I felt like the scripture put your house in order from Isaiah 38 kept coming up. Finally, one day I went to a coffee shop and took the time to study that specific scripture. I learned that King Hezekiah was ill and about to die, so the prophet Isaiah told him,  “Thus…

Push Through

When life gets complicated, it’s hard to want to persevere. In a way, it feels like something inside of us dies. It can be hard to want to do anything, but today I write to you to tell you that there is life, hope, and stories to share on the other side of your hardship.…

How to feel encouraged when you feel discouraged

There are days when everything seems to be going great, and then there are those days when everything completely sucks with feelings of sorrow, negativity, and a lot of complaining. This is how I felt all week. I tried so hard not to feel discouraged, I even prayed and asked God for help, but nothing…


Knowing your value in the midst of your circumstances

It can be hard to feel valuable when you are constantly messing up. When you fail, you feel as if something is wrong with you. You beat yourself up, and begin to live in a place of defeat.

When people do not know their value, they begin to settle for less. 

Settling in places such as a job, romance, friendships, beliefs, and so on.

Growing up, I had social anxiety. The only people I was comfortable talking to were the really nice people, that would go out of their way to talk to me. I didn’t feel worthy, I felt as if I had nothing to say or to bring to the table. 

Things began to change for me when I wanted more out of life. I wanted to make a difference, and my heart was to encourage people, in order to do that I would need to be okay with getting over what others thought about me. I started ministry school when I was about 23, and in ministry school they would encourage us to pray for strangers. At first it was so hard for me to have to go up to a stranger and ask them how I could pray for them but then, over time, it got easier.

Whatever you are going through, whether its at work or a relationship and you just don’t feel worthy, I encourage you to go deep into your heart and ask yourself these questions…

Who told me that I am not worthy?

Why am I choosing to believe this?

Do I believe I am here on earth for a purpose?

I want you to know that you are valuable, and that as long as you are alive, God has a great purpose for your life. You weren’t created just to be here, every part of you was carefully created by an amazing God in heaven who sees your value.

You are loved beyond measure; the one that created you sees your value, and He says to you, “My Child do you not see your worth? For I am your creator! I see you far more precious than rubies.”

1 John 3:1“Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!” 

Proverbs 3:15 She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.

Psalm 139: 13–14“You are the one who put me together inside my mother’s body, and I praise you because of the wonderful way you created me. Everything you do is marvelous! Of this, I have no doubt.”

He is with you always ❤