Do these thoughts sound familiar? For me, these were the thoughts that went through my mind. A few weeks ago, I made a bold decision to go through my Instagram account and delete over 400 photos. Each photo captured one moment in the past. Each photo held a memory that told a story. 400 photos. 400 memories. 400 stories. Why did I do it? Why did I delete it?
I deleted those photos because it is time for a fresh start. Now that I can focus, my vision became clear. I realized that it was unnecessary to hold onto certain things. Trust me. There is no need to hold onto 400 plus photos that I rarely go back to look at. I am focused on expanding Dayanashiplett.com. A brand that focuses on encouraging others and pointing them to Jesus.
Delete! Forgive! Forget! Move On!
The future, my future, your future, is much brighter than the past.
I felt free after deleting those photos and it inspired me to write this blog. For years, I felt like the photos on social media defined me. I am unsure why, but the feeling was there. At this point, you might find yourself thinking, “Is there something I should delete?” Today, I would like to encourage you to delete the things that no longer serve you.
Delete that number.
Delete the photos of your ex.
Delete those old texts.
Delete that address.
Delete that appointment.
Delete that website.
Delete the things in your life that do not point you to Jesus.
Would love to hear on the comments below what are some things you will be deleting…
A few months ago, I felt like the scripture put your house in order from Isaiah 38 kept coming up. Finally, one day I went to a coffee shop and took the time to study that specific scripture. I learned that King Hezekiah was ill and about to die, so the prophet Isaiah told him, “Thus…
When life gets complicated, it’s hard to want to persevere. In a way, it feels like something inside of us dies. It can be hard to want to do anything, but today I write to you to tell you that there is life, hope, and stories to share on the other side of your hardship.…
There are days when everything seems to be going great, and then there are those days when everything completely sucks with feelings of sorrow, negativity, and a lot of complaining. This is how I felt all week. I tried so hard not to feel discouraged, I even prayed and asked God for help, but nothing…
Lately my husband and I have been driving by some ecstatically pleasing apartments. I have told him, “Look I really like those apartments.” He said, “just because it looks good on the outside that doesn’t reflect what could be on the inside.” Him saying this caused me to think deeper about what a home is meant to be like, who we are on the inside, and what it means to be good steward of what God give us. Have you ever been in a house that seems cold and uninviting? Unfortunately, I have been to houses like this and it makes me want to leave as soon as possible. On the other hand, homes that provide a more peaceful atmosphere make me feel like I want to stay as long as I can. Homes are meant to be a place in which you feel welcomed, at peace, and a space to warm your soul. A house seems more like a space that is empty, cold, and uninviting.
I have sat and pondered many times why it is that some homes can offer peace and some can’t. While pondering on this thought about homes. My friend Diana came to mind explaining how your car or house looks is a reflection of what is going on in your mind. During that time in my life I was going through so much mentally and emotionally that my room and car always looked like a mess. Once she said that I started being more aware and taking steps to deal with what was going on with my emotions and mind. This helped me to be more organized with my personal life and even organizing the things in my car and room. I share this because when there was no peace in my soul my spaces looked crazy. Eventually I started feeling better with everything around me and everything seemed more at peace.
Going back to what my husband said about, “Just because it looks good on the outside that doesn’t reflect what could be on the inside.” This makes me think about people. How many times have we met people that look good on the outside but yet the more you get to know them the more you realize you know what the inside is not as nice as the outside. Similar thoughts go into where we live, sometimes a home may look great on the outside but is it truly like that on the inside?
I recently heard of a couple who have a church, they began to open their home and invite couples to live with them. I thought to myself why would you do this? You have kids! Aren’t you worried about them and each other. Like what type of people are you bringing into your home? These where my own thoughts of fear. You see so many times we pray selfish prayers and ask God, “Lord bless me and give me more but when the time comes will we be a blessing when someone is in need?”
Austin and I are currently praying for the place we will call our home. When God answers our prayer, I hope it is a home where people feel welcomed, loved, and accepted. A home where they will experience Jesus and not chaos. A home where love runs deep and fear dies out. We are all humans in need of Jesus, a place to call home, and a safe place where we can continue to grow as the people Jesus wants us to be.
There are some great questions to think about your home:
Is this just a house or is this a home?
Is this a cold and uninviting house or is it a home that offers peace?
Is this a home where people feel welcomed and loved or where people want to leave as soon as possible?
Proverbs 3:33 The LORD’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous.
My prayer for you: May your home be a place of peace and not destruction, a place where love and peace abound. A place where God’s presence is present.
Isaiah 32:18
18 My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.
Marriage is the place where we should be able to flourish. Marriage is the place where one can build up or tear down. Marriage is the place where you can know sin or grace.
One of my friends recently called me and told me that a couple that got married around the same time my husband and I did, is now struggling in their marriage. The struggle for them is so real that the newly married woman decided to go stay with her mom and has been questioning her husband’s walk with God. This led me to reflect on my own marriage. My husband and I get along really well and recently we have heard rude comments that we are in this place because it’s fresh and there are no kids. When people say comments like this, I think to myself, “what makes you think that my marriage is meant to look like a failure?” Statistically speaking more than 50% of marriages fail and they say the first year is the hardest. I have had reasons to dislike my husband but I didn’t get married to be always happy. I got married with the intention to serve my husband, grow together, and honor God through our covenant. We have been married for about 7 months and I absolutely love him even though I struggle with him taking the lead. You see before getting married I was the definition of Miss Independent and often called a free bird. Being single the whole mindset of independence can be helpful. But once you get married I learned that this is not helpful because it’s no longer “I got this” but it’s now “we got this.” Marriage is teaching me about respect, why Jesus was right, and how to become less selfish.
Without Jesus, I would dislike my husband and try to run away as fast as I can. Not because my husband isn’t great but because change and discomfort can make one run fast. My childhood was not easy and when things got tough, I ran away mentally.From a young age, I had the desire to meet someone who would love me and call me his wife. Finally, the day came and I met the man that would become my husband. I knew going into marriage, that it wouldn’t just be “I” any longer but “us.” Going into this meant that I was going to have to be less selfish because now I had to look out for someone else other than myself. That is tough!For most of my youth I have been doing life on my own because my parents weren’t really around. By learning to make my own decisions I learned to rely on myself. When we got married the first few weeks where really hard on me. I would cry and get frustrated because I was uncomfortable with change. Change such as a new place and not living the independent way I was used to. So many things changed for me before getting married. I had just moved from South Africa, I was there as a missionary on my own. And before that I lived in sunny San Diego. In San Diego and South Africa, I lived a pretty bold and free life. If I wanted something I made sure, I found a way to get what I wanted.
But then marriage happened and everything changed. I went from doing whatever I wanted to do, to now having to ask my husband for permission to do things. I asked for permission for simple things such as can I purchase this or can I go to a certain place. I didn’t ask for permission because my husband asked me to do so, I did it because when I read the bible I am called to honor and respect my husband. A way in which I do this is by giving my husband a place and a voice in our marriage. My husband has said, “no” to many requests I have had. Hearing him say,” NO!” has made me cry. I think I cry because of not being used to hearing the word “no” this word makes me feel as if something is wrong. Now as an adult when I hear “no” I want to throw a fit like a little girl. But I am learning even through the discomfort that my husband is the leader and that I can trust his judgment. My husband’s role in this marriage is to be the leader and I have learned that we work best as a team when he is the one leading and I submit. God entrusted us both with one another and we believe in the biblical teaching in how a wife is called to respect her husband, to honor him, and submit to his direction from God.
I have seen that marriage is about allowing our relationship to reflect Jesus, to die to self, to love one another, to serve one another, to speak truth, to honor, to respect, and point one another to Jesus. With ultimately getting to that place of understanding that marriage is not meant to fulfill you because only Jesus can fulfill you.
The way we look in our continued grow together as a couple is by submitting ourselves to Jesus. To see him be the foundation on which our marriage and everything we do will stand. There have been times when my husband and I misunderstand each other and during these times I am constantly reminded to ask the holy spirit to intervene. When God is invited into the midst of an argument or misunderstanding he has shown me his “Will” provides a presence of peace and clarity.
I am in this marriage to win! My husband is not my enemy, he is my friend, my lover, and my adventure partner in this thing called life. We realize that marriage will have some good seasons and some not good seasons that come along but we look to embrace Jesus as our savior. Marriage is about discovering each other, not assuming, and asking questions instead. Marriage is about honoring one another and cheering each other on. Marriage is about being okay with change and growing together through the change. Marriage is about speaking truth and encouraging one another. Marriage is about laughing more rather than taking everything so serious. Marriage is about coming together and becoming one rather than arguing and pulling apart. Marriage is a covenant, a place where vows were once said, and a place to reflect to the world what a Godly marriage should shine like.
Ephesians 5:22-33 New International Version (NIV)
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b]32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Dayana Shiplett 