When I was little, I used to love watching Mexican soap operas. I realized that the actresses were beautiful and desired. I wanted to be just like them. As I got older, the desire to be known and seen only grew stronger. When I was 18 years old, I moved to Hollywood to pursue a career as an actress and a model. I did pretty well and landed my own tv show named “Dayana Grace.” I started to receive new likes, followers, attention, and so much more, but it wasn’t enough. Something was missing. I felt empty even though I had everything I thought I wanted. Suddenly all of this began to take me into a place of despair, and I knew something had to change.
Growing up, I knew enough about Jesus to know he was real, but I didn’t know him nor trust him due to some things that happened to me. I did want a relationship with him, but I wanted it to be based on my conditions. I mainly only talked to him growing up when I needed something. As I entered into despair, I realized that I could either keep living in my fantasy world for the rest of my life, or I could invite Jesus into my heart. I wanted something tangible that would last, and somehow somewhere deep within me, I knew that Jesus was the answer. Over five years ago, I accepted by faith Jesus into my heart. Life isn’t the same anymore. I don’t have as many followers, likes, or attention, and I am okay with that because I am finally happy. God has blessed me beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Within five years, God has given me more treasures than Hollywood ever could have. I have traveled for ministry to South Africa(twice), Dubai, and Mexico. I have shared my testimony on the radio, television, and events. I married an amazing, Godly man. God healed my relationship with my parents. And His goodness only continues. If I had to do this all over again, I wouldn’t hesitate to give my life to Jesus. If anything, I would run to Him. The world will never be able to satisfy what only Jesus can fulfill.
Peace
The sun is gone, and the moon is about to come out. The blinds are down, and pretty soon, I will need to turn on the lights. It’s the end of my workday, and I have already taken a shower and had dinner. Now I sit here with my soft white blanket and meditating on what peace means to me.
Six years ago, I didn’t understand peace. I had never experienced it. I was always at war with myself. Did you know that according to Google, peace means: a state or period in which there is no war or a war has ended? The constant battle within myself ended six years ago when I made Jesus my Lord and Savior.
Before accepting God into my heart, I lived in Hollywood, had a tv show, a boyfriend who wanted to marry me, and who took care of me financially. Even after having all of that, I never once experienced peace. If anything, there was always chaos within me. What I thought I always wanted didn’t bring me peace. If anything, there was always chaos within me. What I thought I always wanted didn’t bring me peace. If anything, it left me feeling empty. When I surrendered to Jesus and accepted him as my Lord and Savior, I started to live in peace and experience it. Life is wonderful because Jesus lives in my heart.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
Known
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14
To be known is what I desire. To be seen is what I want. To be loved as I am is what I crave, and to be heard is what I need. My whole life, I have wasted wondering if I am enough? Am I good enough? Do I matter? Do I make a difference? I want to know that someone knows what I need. For so long, I thought men were the answer to all these questions. I wanted to be affirmed. But how can a man who has never been affirmed by the creator of heaven and earth affirm me?
I wasted 9 precious years of my life wandering in between the arms of men so that I could be affirmed. They couldn’t give me what I wanted, and instead, I would end up more lost in my self-worth while all along, God was asking for my attention. I couldn’t give my attention to this great God. How could I? I was afraid of what I did not know or understand, but yet He never gave up on me. He constantly pursued me. He frequently found ways to show me he was there. Some of his ways would seem unreal for many to believe, but that is who he is. The one who never gives up. The one who leaves the 99 to go for the 1. Oh, gracious God, what did you see in me? I was lost, without direction, and a lot of rejection towards you, but you never gave up on me. You pursued me and have always wanted me. You know me, and yet you still want me. I am a mess, but you like me, you love me as I am, so here I am, Lord. Take me as I am.
Dayana Shiplett 